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Myself in the Mirror

by Aemetta
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150 / 27k

Description

Lillian buys a magic wand that allows her to see alternate reality versions of herself. She didn't expect to be able to talk to them—or the ensuing identity crisis, for that matter. Now, less than ever, is she sure of her gender, sexuality, and fate.

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Come back later when there's something to read.

3 comments
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Thought Prism
Row Row Fight the Power!

For your first story, this is actually pretty well executed. The first two chapters really nail that sense of ‘something’s off but I don't know what', for the most part. There are a few words in the wrong tense here and there, but nothing egregious in terms of grammar or typos. It's in the third where your inexperience begins to show by switching to Claire's perspective. The emotional core of the narrative seems to be Lillian's self examination, but if you jump into someone else's head, suddenly the reader can't tell what they're thinking and the plot threatens to derail itself.

Also, unrelated, I got a chuckle out of your bio. Presenting as a slime when you're genderfluid is kind of perfect. You know, ‘cause they’re literally made of liquid.

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Thought Prism
Row Row Fight the Power!

I almost totally forgot this existed, and suddenly I had 4 chapters to read! Anyway, you definitely turned things around. The protagonist's mind is in far greater shambles than I'd thought, leading to angles of self-exploration I've rarely encountered in fiction. This is quite the thought-provoking work; I may have to reread the beginning too, see if you sprinkled any clues in there.

Another excellent touch was the inclusion of molecular chirality, which I realized would be a problem the second you made clear how everything was mirrored. I just wasn't sure you were actually aware of the concept, but to my surprise you were!

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Thought Prism
Row Row Fight the Power!

Ah, fair enough. If you're not enjoying your hobby, well, then it's basically just unpaid work, and nobody enjoys that! For the record, though, I still liked where you were taking this, with the threefold combination of internal, external, and mirrored relationship conflicts.